For one of our Be Braver Practitioners the answer would be yes. The first time it did. 14 years in fact.

Amira* joined the Be Braver Practitioner programme to develop her skills as a leader. A smart, competent, successful leader, who you would be surprised to think wanted to develop more in finding her voice, confidence and courage.

Not wanting others to choose to stay silent where she once did, she has shared her story and experience here. Of asking for a pay rise, of learning to practice a Be Braver mindset and her hope that it will inspire others.

If you want a pay-rise, just ask for it!

Sounds easy doesn’t it?

In reality, it took me nearly 14 years into my career to do it. Once I asked, the pay rise was approved and came into effect within a matter of days. It lifted a massive weight off my shoulders from all the years I held back. It took away many misconceptions and assumptions I had about my value or what that meant to others. It improved relationships at work and it motivated me immensely.

I am sharing my story to encourage others not to leave it as late as me, to help avoid building up a large deficit and to have the courage to ask assertively (regardless of the outcome) which will in turn make you appreciate and speak openly of your worth and value.

All my career, I had convinced myself to accept whatever figure that was put in front of me as part of an offer letter, on a contract or as part of an annual appraisal. I accepted it because I didn’t want to rock the boat, look like a troublemaker and I always felt ‘lucky’ that I had a job paying that salary anyway.

So over the years, through my silence on the matter, I self-created a bigger and bigger deficit when compared with others who were at the same level that had been negotiating throughout their careers and this group of people are predominantly men.

It was only until a male ally who is a peer actually told me his salary and how much more he was on compared to me. It opened my eyes as I never really knew how far I was off what I deserved. I couldn’t quite put a price on what I did deserve. But when I worked out what that was and had the conversation, everything changed about my own lens on myself.

Here are my top tips and advice based on my own experience (in no particular order):

DON’Ts

Don’t make assumptions regarding why you are on your current salary today or about the person you are going to ask for a pay rise
Don’t assume that this has been done on purpose, a conspiracy, or that the issue is even noticed by anyone else!
Don’t make the conversation about others, what others are on or seem to have in comparison to you, make the conversation about you and what you feel you deserve

DO’s

Have a realistic expectation based on as much research as possible, use recruitment websites, try and find a peer, someone in your network or even a male ally who may share details of theirs or at least give an indication
Reflect and be very clear about your worth, what you uniquely bring to the table, what you have achieved. Own it, own your worth. Back up your request with examples of what you have achieved. Feel empowered all the way.
Take out the threats ‘I will leave if you don’t do this’ etc this should be a conversation based on facts and an appreciation of the context
Understand and accept your contribution to the current situation, it is unlikely to be 100% everyone else’s fault!
Be prepared for the conversation, role play this in your head beforehand and be calm
When you feel ready, just go for it or else there will never be a good time for it! You don’t have to wait for the annual review cycle either.
Be prepared to be put on a path to get a raise rather than get it straight away. If so, follow-up regularly.

For me, it was more about having the conversation itself rather than achieving a certain figure as a result of the increase. I actually didn’t go in with a figure in mind. Just a clear conversation about my worth and what I have brought to the table and if this can be reflected in a salary review.

Although I didn’t add this as a tip in the points above, it may be something you should have in mind, a specific figure or a banding in case you’re asked.

Once I had the conversation, I was instantly relieved.

My boss’s response was amazing, he actually said well done and that it was the most mature conversation about a pay-rise he had ever had with anyone.

It then took an email to the local HR Partner and one more to the CFO later that day which received approval within an hour. I subsequently forgot to check my pay slip for a few weeks afterwards because ultimately it wasn’t really about the money (weird to say I know) it was about me appreciating and discussing my worth.

The realisation of my worth myself and having a powerful conversation about it and then a response like that has made me feel more positive with a weight off my shoulders. Even if the proposal was rejected at one of the approval stages, the outcome would still have been positive in my mind, because I spoke about my worth and regardless of the response, this will be an ongoing conversation throughout my career.

Staying silent didn’t benefit me at all for 14 odd years. If more of us openly talk about our worth and subjects like salary, this will hopefully benefit others too.

Going on the Be Braver Practitioner programme gave me the ultimate positive push.

It wasn’t a coincidence that I had the pay-rise conversation about mid-way through the course. This course gives you the tools, the network and the belief to step up and create change.

*We have changed the name at the request of our member who has chosen to remain anonymous.