You Are Not Alone

Collective Themes from 2020

I wanted to share some of the key themes that have emerged from both my clients & the Be Braver Collective this year.

It’s hard to believe that the Be Braver Collective only launched in October, in response to a need that emerged out of the changes COVID brought us all.

Creating a structured, facilitated space rooted in applied psychological practice. One offering connection & support for the increasingly testing personal & professional journeys we are facing.

In many ways it’s a bit like a mindset academy. Offering different routes for membership depending on whether you are there to connect & lift up others, or whether you are looking to find & strengthen your own direction of travel.

So some of the key themes that have emerged:-

Women Think They Lack Confidence

Let me not get distracted about who benefits from this narrative and how it has come about. The fact is, they believe it to be true. On closer inspection we often find it not to be.

Competence vs Self-Belief are the two dimensions at Be Braver that we explore confidence through.

Competence can easily be fixed where it’s not where it needs to be. Skills, experience, learning & development can be plotted & mapped out. Rarely in practice, however, do we find competence lacking.

Self-belief is nearly always the critical issue. Often about self-worth triggered by an event, or some carelessly uttered words that have festered, grown roots & started infecting all sorts of thoughts & emotions. These we dig out & in their place plant values aligned thoughts & beliefs that move us forwards.

This perceived lack of self-belief is often something that’s hurt us in some way. Needs reworking. It is never insurmountable and we can always shift it to a better space.

Which is why we say you need to know confidence, not that you lack it.

It’s Not Just You

“It’s So Good To Know It’s Not Just Me”

You wouldn’t believe the number of times this gets uttered.

The difference it makes in having a conversations with others who can say ‘I know that – it’s so similar to how I think/feel/behave’.

Moreover helping & connecting with likeminded people is you the opportunity to reflect & offer your own wisdom which in turn helps yourself.

In a different guise, for a different reason, but the answers you seek you often already have within you.

Perfectionism Inhibits Growth

 Striving for perfectionism, thinking you should get things perfect, not wanting to fail, avoiding getting something wrong as it has to be just right.

How many decision, choices, actions and behaviours does this stop us from doing?

Learning to not strive for perfection, seeing that it holds you back, accepting that all any of us can do I the best we can with the resources we have available to us at any given time.

Choose to be brave, take action, don’t procrastinate. Welcome, in fact expect, to get learning and feedback to help you grow. Maybe expect to fail. Certainly don’t expect perfection.

Ideals of perfection have been lumped on women for far too long but I won’t get distracted by that either……

Fear and Anxiety Need Their Own Space

We don’t want to burden others, share them with our teams, bosses, nearest & dearest. So we are carrying silently our fears & anxieties which build until we get near breaking point, or we do break.

Often others aren’t qualified or equipped to deal with them. Can’t relate or are too interwoven or invested in the issues to offer a neutral space for exploration.

Just being able to share and articulate fears & anxieties in a space with others can help us find solutions as we utter the words out loud & know we are not alone.

Better still when those we talk to have no agenda other than wanting the best for you, share & relate to much of what you disclose you find strength.

Lionesses Work in Packs not in Isolation

Our networks are one of the greatest assets and resources we have at our disposal. Be that our connections, teams, partners, friends, mentors, advocates, community groups, clubs.

So often these are under-utilised and can make significant differences in what we can give & gain from engaging more with others.

We are not islands, asking for helping, collaborating, sharing, paying forwards, contributing is one route to growth & success.

Very few people have achieved anything in life alone, even lone explorers have teams helping them prepare for their expeditions. So don’t expect to be able to fix everything on your own.

When you start to plot what you have at your disposal you will be surprised by what you find. We have needed tribes since the beginning of time. Find your tribe.

You Can’t Put A Price on Investing In You

It’s the price of meal out once a month that you can’t have now anyway.

Yet the value in the development of you, your fortunes, career, ambitions, relationships, future can’t even compare. The questions you will be asked, the time out you afford for you, the challenges you will encounter, the problems you will solve and the ideas you will share.

A space designed to give you everything you need to fly. To help you find clarity about what matters, what you need to succeed, that gives you the support and confidence to share & explore your ideas & test with peers.

We’ve another tough year ahead, it is important to know what you need, be kind & gentle with yourself, invest in you and connect with others.

We will always be stronger together.